The words from this week’s Church services keep echoing in
my mind. Things are not always easy yet God has it all under control. When life
turns into a battle and you don’t know where to turn, turn to God since He’s
got it all under control. I feel like I am constantly in a battle of mind and
spirit and not seeing how God’s going to provide. Too often I allow the enemy
to tell me lies yet over and over again, I am reminded of God’s provision for
my life and His control over it all. God’s full of surprises and He’s in
control. Time is not in our control and quiet frankly, our lives are out of our
control. But, God’s in control and knows the outcome.
I often ask how it is that I got to be where I am right now,
being a missionary when this was not my original plan. I had planned on being a
teacher yet God’s plan for my life was different. I look back and see the
trials that I have had to face and see God’s hand in it all even if the
complete picture is not clear to me. God has been in control all along and He loves
giving surprises. Think back on your life, is what you are doing what you
thought you would be doing? Are you living where you figured you would be
living? Did things go according to your plan or have they changed over time?
Yeah, for me, I have to say that nothing has gone as planned, or at least not
my plan.
I ended up graduating with a major in Spanish and I wanted
to be able to use that Spanish in some way, so God placed me in Texas yet since
I have been here, I have been hesitant and unconfident in using Spanish. Today
I went to help translate for a Hispanic family yet they had a son that was able
to do the translation. I am not sure what God’s plan is for me yet I have to
keep reminding myself that He’s in control. I also have to remind myself of
last weeks all staff meeting scripture that God wants to give us rest since
right now my mind is all over the place. And most of it is things that I can
only do so much and then trust God with the outcome. Yet, I am human and it’s
hard to let things go when I know I am meant to meet specific expectations. So,
my Spanish is not going as I had planned and hoped yet, God’s in control.
Another factor is that support raising is not going as
planned. It seems that anybody I ask comes back with the response that they
can’t financially support me and organizations that I ask come back and say
that they can’t support me either. This has left me wondering if I will ever be
able to continue with full time ministry after this 2-year experience. If I
can’t even raise a minimal amount right now then how would I ever be able to
raise full support? Yet, as I have stated I am reminded of the message I got
from 2 services and that is that God’s full of surprises and He’s in control.
It’s not by chance or ironic that yesterday when I was
leaving church the song that came on the radio was “God is in control” a song
by Twila Paris which is an older song and one that I have not heard for awhile.
So, between yesterday and today I have been having to reminded that God is in
control even if I can’t see the outcome. It’s hard to keep moving forward
sometimes but I have to trust that God will provide the financial support that
I am meant to raise, that my Spanish will improve where I feel confident in
speaking it, that I will gain an understanding of things that I don’t
understand, etc. God’s in control but it’s not always easy to see and go each
day not knowing the outcome of things or know how things will be provided. God’s
in control and I need to rest in Christ in this time of life when I don’t have
answers and don’t know how I will be funded or when my Spanish will come back
and be comfortable speaking it again.
So, that’s my life right now and any prayer and support
would be appreciated.
No comments:
Post a Comment