Walking in the wilderness

Sometimes it take being put into a situation that you thought was right for you to realize that it’s actually not what God has desired for you and that frees you from the past yet how can you move forward when you feel stuck in the present and knowing what God has given you the passion for yet others don’t realize it and you find yourself running into a dead end?

 "It is no coincidence that many of the great moments in salvation history start out with a trek through the wilderness. Abraham, Moses and the Israelites, and Jesus all found themselves wandering through the desert after responding to God’s calling"

Right now, I feel like I am walking in the wilderness and trying to find my way to truly embracing what God has for me and why He brought me to Texas. I have been in Texas and participating in ministry for about 6 months now and without a doubt I can tell you that God brought me here for a reason and has been revealing the truth to me and showing me where my true passions are. I have realized over the years that God will take me from the familiar and everything I know when He wants me to understand something better or He wants to reveal something new to me that I may have been too stubborn to pay attention to if I was in my familiar surrounding. So, coming to Texas, I had the questions, why Texas? Why am I working with the Dallas Leadership Foundation? Why was I not placed overseas? Why was I not placed somewhere else when I thought I was being called to do something else? What did God want to show me and reveal to me in Texas and during the 2 years that I was assigned to be working on Texas?

All of those questions may not be fully answered but there are things that God's been revealing to me and showing me yet as I stated in the first part, there are times that I feel like I am having to hold back on what God is showing me and it’s hard and frustrating. I will admit that I came to Texas thinking one thing yet God has switched things up, like He usually does, and has revealed the truth to me.

God’s at work yet I feel like I am in the wilderness and wondering around trying to figure out where to go next and wondering if anyone else will realize what God is doing.

(On a side note, I want to say that I am absolutly glad that God has brought me to Texas and has me working with DLF. I truly wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now and I am glad that God is showing up and revealing things to me and will hopefully continue to do so!)

"It is in the desert that the Holy Spirit teaches us key truths, tests our character and purpose, and strengthens us for ministry. God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9)"

Texas may not be a literal desert yet this journey that I am on in ministry is at times like a desert. I left everything I knew and came to Texas. A desert is a dry place and doesn’t have much and that’s how it was coming to Texas. I may have had thoughts about how I thought things would be and accusations that God was going to let me have my dream. (A dream that I may add was something that God called me out of yet part of me was always going to wonder how things would be different if I continued following my plan. So, God allowed me to have a taste of what my plan would have ended up like and I thank Him that He called me out of what I thought I had always wanted to do and ended up deciding to follow Him into ministry and to Texas.) So, you see, I came empty-handed to Texas yet it’s been through this journey so far that God has been revealing to me the truth about why He has brought me to Texas and what He has implanted in me to do. What God has been revealing to me, I may have always overlooked but looking back on the past, I realize that it has always been apart of who I am but it’s now that it’s becoming more apparent and clear to me.

It’s in the desert, or the new place, the new journey, the step of saying yes to Him that He will reveal the true motive behind what we are doing. He will reveal the truth of who He has made us to be. He will set us free from our past, our thoughts, and our old desires and make us new. However, I am now at a place where I wonder how do I  follow Him in the direction that He is calling me when I feel absolutely stuck in the wilderness with no way out? I pray that God shows me the way and continues to work through me and reveal the truth to me. There’s more behind being in Texas than I know yet little by little, God is revealing why He has brought me here and why I am where I am and not somewhere else.

Would you join me in praying for God to show me the best way to use what He is revealing to me? Pray that God continues to open my eyes to His truth and to His love. Pray that I find rest in God and find fulfillment in what He has called me to do and is revealing to me. Pray that I am able to speak truth and not live day by day going through the motion but truly embrace who God has made me and do what He has been preparing me to do. 

I will leave you with this, my senior year leading up to God calling me out of education and into ministry, the following song at the end of this blog was my prayer and to this day it is still my prayer…

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands

To the suffering and the lean

To the ones the world has cast aside

Where you want me I will be 

I will go, I will go  

I will go, Lord send me

To the world, To the lost

To the poor and hungry

Take everything I am

I'm clay within your hands

I will go, I will go, send me 

Let me not be blind with privilege

Give me eyes to see the pain

Let the blessing You've poured out on me

Not be spent on me in vain

Let this life be used for change