When Fear Turns Into Faith

I titled this first blog post “when fear turns into faith” because that is where I have been for the past few weeks. I found out last week where my initial placement site was at and it ended up being in Dallas, Texas with the Dallas Leadership Foundation (DLF). If I get approved to partner with DLF then I will be working as a community and youth coordinator for the next 2 years. However, after finding out my initial placement, I had to interview with them in order to see if this would be a good partnership for the both of us. This had me sitting on the end of nerves and worry.

I couldn’t stop worrying and then I talked to the President of the organization and it went okay but there were still unsettled nerves that I was dealing with and I was wondering what it was that I was getting into and if ministry truly was the calling that I heard or if I jumped into things prematurely.

Originally I had wanted to go to Latin America and work with the Hispanic population but I was placed as a US-2 which meant that I would be staying in the United States rather than leaving the country as I had originally anticipated. While I didn’t get placed as a mission intern, God still knew what He was doing. I graduated with a B.A. in Spanish and double minored in leadership studies and interpersonal relations, which was a sudden change for me at the start of my senior year of college.

While things didn’t turn out as I had planned, they were working out the way God had planned for them to. After a second day of talking with the community and youth directors in Dallas, Texas, I ended up being at ease with where things were taking me and was starting to get a glimpse of God’s plan for me. I will be placed in a predominantly Hispanic community. While there I will have the chance to use my Spanish degree and help communicate with the youth and the community. The Dallas Leadership Foundation is also a lot about leadership development and revitalization therefore, I will be able to utilize my leadership studies minor and volunteer experience with Habitat.

I also wanted to work with students in some capacity and God called me to volunteer with the youth ministry at the church I attended my senior year. Even though I had originally thought I wanted to do collegiate ministry, God has led me to Dallas where I will be working with the youth. While working with the youth in this community, I will be able to help lead Bible study and connect with the youth and show them God’s love. It seems to me that God has been mapping out my life up to now and giving me experiences that will benefit me on this ministry journey that I about to embark on.

So, I went from being scared (which there is still some of), to being excited to see what God has planned for my life and where things will take me. The reason I am doing the US-2 program is to discern if full time vocational ministry is where I am meant to be or if God is calling me down a different path of life. But right now, ministry is my calling and I thank God for this opportunity to partner with the Dallas Leadership Foundation for the next 2 years (as long as we both say yes to each other). If either party says no to this placement then I will be matched up with a different placement site but I hope this works out since I believe God has led me here for a reason.

The Dallas Leadership Foundation has applied for a US-2 missionary for the past 3 years and this is the first time that they have been matched with someone. Jeremiah 29:11 is my life verse and I can’t stop but think that His plan is coming into play and everything is working out according to His plan. My plans may not have worked out but God’s is and He knows the desires of my heart.

Even though I may not be 100% confident in using Spanish these next 2 years, I trust that God will equip me and give me the strength that I need these next 2 years! I know that this will be an experience that I will never forget and one that will grow my trust and dependence in Christ.

Psalm 37: 4 “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Psalm 20:4 “May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Fear is the absence of faith