Where the Lord leads, I will go!

The LORD had said to Abram, "Go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I will show you. ~Genesis 12:1

2 years of being a young adult US-2 missionary is coming to an end and with that, I have received some questions as to what’s next and why I am doing some things. Before I get into the questions, let me say that these past 2 years of being in Texas has truly changed my perspective of what ministry looks like and what it truly means to do ministry with others. It has made me question and look back on mission trips and service projects that I have done in the past and truly examine if what I was doing was helping those we were serving or doing more harm.

These past 2 years has given me peace and clarity on what I left behind when I said yes to ministry and left the path of being a teacher. It has given me a new passion and desire to be among others and help the neighborhoods and residents that we serve. It has given me a new understanding of the importance and need for people to do ministry here in the United States and in our own backyards since there’s much work to be done here as well, not just over seas. And it has given me a chance to gain a better understanding of what ministry looks like for me and what my next steps ought to be.

These last 2 years have not happened by chance but God sent me here for a reason. And while there have been various times that I was ready to pack things up and move back home and end what I was doing, I know that God has strengthened me and given me new insight through the hard times and the frustration that I at times experienced. But again, God didn’t send me here by chance and it wasn’t a mistake that I ended up where I have been the past 2 years. I don’t regret anything that has happened these past 2 years.

However, there are currently a lot of uncertainties going through my mind and a sense of feeling that I could have and should do something to help make the upcoming transition smoother where there isn’t wondering of how things will get done or how things were done these past 2 years. There is honestly a sense of uneasiness that I am feeling that I wish I could overcome since I found a passion and desire to work in one the 2 departments and now I am transitioning where I honestly fear having a sense of loss for both that department and for where I know where a passion was found. At this point, I don’t know how to overcome these feelings and a sense of the unknown of what will happen… I feel broken and it's going to be hard to leave on Friday knowing that it's my last time being in the role that I have been in and knowing that things won't be the same afterwards… 

So, with that being said here are some questions I have been getting as well as their answers…

1. What’s next for me?

I will be going home to Indiana on Friday where I will spend a little over 2 weeks with my family and hopefully seeing friends and then I will be making the trip back to Dallas, TX where I will be attending Perkins School of Theology this fall and continuing to work part time with the Dallas Leadership Foundation but mainly working with our outcome base software program. So, I will be working with the organization I have been assigned to these past 2 years but in a different role and only part time due to going back to school for my masters degree.

2. Why am I staying in Texas and not returning home?

I absolutely miss family and friends back in Indiana and I don’t really have many friends or at least close friends in Texas so why wouldn’t I go back home? The honest answer is because God’s not finished with me here in Texas yet. I truly feel like my work in Texas isn’t done and I also feel like I am meant to attend Perkins which is here in Dallas. I am always going to miss family especially during holidays but as I titles this post, “where God leads, I will go” and I truly feel like He is calling me to remain where I am at. And in part, I don’t want to leave the organization I have been working with or my supervisor and have it where there’s a void that needs to be filled.

3. What does the future hold for me?

After completing seminary as well as hopefully completing the ordination track/ process, I am hoping to become an ordained deacon in the United Methodist Church with an ultimate desire to become a chaplain. However, I also hope to return to Costa Rica at some point (even if only for a couple of weeks) since there has been a longing inside me ever since I returned from study abroad that wants to return and however, God hasn’t called me in that direction and returning is the only way that I will truly be able to come to peace with the question of “what if?”