What's next?...

Three months has gone by without writing a new blog post and a lot has been going on and taking place. At the end of September I flew back out to New York to meet up with the rest of the US-2 missionaries from my class for catching up with one another, additional training, and debriefing the past year in ministry and what is yet to come. It’s hard to believe that it’s been over a year already and that my time as a US-2 young adult missionary ends in July (7 months), which will fly by just like the past year has.

I’ve enjoyed where God has brought me and the work I have been doing in Texas and it scares me to think about ending my missionary assignment. While it’s only a 2-year assignment, I am intending on remaining in Dallas where I have been accepted into Perkins School of Theology where I will be getting my Master of Arts in Ministry with a concentration in Theology/ Social Justice. I am excited about continuing my journey in full time ministry however, there are still questions lingering around that scare me.

I’ve realized early on in college that I wanted to go into full time ministry however, with majoring in Spanish I always desired to be in Latin America where I could be using Spanish. Every day I find myself missing Costa Rica and my time of being embraced in the culture and using Spanish every day. I realize that it’s always going to be a longing and desire to be abroad but with that comes a lot of fear and worry.

For now, I am remaining in Texas but anymore I’m not sure that it will be a lasting ordeal. I’ve found myself in the midst of having to make tough decisions and continuing to have to say good-bye to family and friends. I’ve found myself missing family and being heart broken for the times that I’m not around to see my niece and nephews grow up. With decisions needing to be made and ones that may alter my future and my life, I have to try to remember to keep God in the midst of my decision-making and know that He is with me every step of the way.

Making hard choices isn’t easy but God’s got us. He calls us to step out of the boat of comfort and onto the water and rely on Him and His guidance. We may find ourselves sinking at times once we leave the boat and wanting to get back into the boat but we need to keep pushing forward and stepping out in faith and trusting God!

Please be praying for me while I face choices needing to be made and find myself faced with questions and uncertainties during this time.

Journey on Water

Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” 

And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” ~Matthew 14:22-33

For the past 3 days I have found myself encountering the passage of Jesus walking on water and Peters faith and fear to get out of the boat. In the midst of studying this passage and looking at my life, I have found myself relating to Peter and where God has brought me and is taking me. When I look at the journey that I am currently on, I realize that Jesus called me to step out on the water and into a life of ministry however, the journey is not finished.

I look back on the journey I am currently on and I realize that it took an act of faith and stepping out on the water to leave my family, my home, my friends, and ultimately my everything to move to Texas where I knew anyone. I didn't know what to expect but God said to go and He put me where I am. With every new step of faith and obedience to where God is calling me, there comes a new time where He will call me to go further and not be stagnant with where I am. He calls me to face my fears and to continually look to Him rather than the obstacles around me since when I see the waves crashing against me or even the first sign of them forming, I get scared and question, why am I here and am I on the right path?

Being a young adult missionary, I have questioned where I am at many times yet when I remind myself to look to God, He directs me back to taking heart in Him and where He has me.

While the lake may at times be calm, there will be times that the waves will be forming and we will want to run. We will find ourselves back where we started and always wondering, what's on the other side? I find myself there right now. I love the work I do and I feel lead to go to seminary but when I look at all the circumstances and what it will take to get there, I find myself questioning everything. I want to run yet I constantly wonder, what's on the other side and where is God taking me.

The only answer and way to find out is to get out of the boat I am currently in and walk in the water and take the journey to get to the other side. It won't always be easy but God reminds us to take heart in Him and trust Him in the journey!

“And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” ~Luke 5:4

Jesus calls us to a place of growth, risk, and uncomfortable. Putting out into the deep water and then getting out of the water is risky, we find ourselves in a place where we have no control but it’s then that we will grow. We need to make Jesus’ thing our thing and follow His guidance to the other side.

Time of discernment

Where are things taking me? That’s a question that I often ask myself and I can imagine that many other people are the same way. We are always on a lookout for what’s next and what is to come and we want to see the bigger picture. While many times, God will not reveal the bigger picture to us, He will show us where to go one step at a time and place us where we need to be.

Many people know that TX was never on my radar of places to end up and I would never have imagined myself working with a non-profit organization (it just never crossed my mind) but it was always apart of God’s plan for me. Ending up in TX has been one of the best and most challenging things to happen to me. I never thought that I would get attached to TX and call it “home”.

This past week I had the chance to take a week vacation and return home to Indiana and it was there that God truly started to confirm things for me. While spending time with friends and family, I finally realized that we will always miss friends, family, and the familiar but there will be a time that God calls us to leave that all behind but while leaving and being in transition, God will provide us with a peace and a new “home”. While I find it hard to say that TX is home for me, I know in my heart that TX is apart of me now and that it is another home for me and with that being said, while being back in Indiana I realized that for now and for the near future, I don’t see myself returning to live in Indiana but can see myself staying in TX.

I can tell that God’s stirring things up in me and has drastically changed my perspective on many things including what I had planned 5 years ago when I started college. None of my plans worked out and it’s been a journey of living by faith and trusting God with the outcome. It’s become a journey of relying on God and trusting that He knows best and will lead me where I need to be. After all, TX and working with a non-profit organization NEVER crossed my mind so how did I end up here?

Now, as I have entered into year 2 of the US-2 program, I find myself wondering where will things take me and after being home and talking to some people, I find myself once again looking to a place where I never thought I would go. Yes I had thought about it and considered it but I always said no to the option. I am now looking into going back to school to get a masters degree in ministry. While I still in no way want to become ordained, become clergy, etc… There is a desire inside me to get a stronger foundation of my faith and to get a better grasp and understanding theologically of ministry and the work that I have found myself to be passionate about and wanting to continue to pursue.

Only time will tell where I will end up since I know God can change up my entire plan but for now, that’s where I feel God is leading me and taking me.

Serving Beyond Ourselves and Our Needs

“We see our needs and overlook the true needs and interests of those we are serving” ~Toxic Charity

How many mission trips have you been on? Who were the others that went with you? Who were you serving? How long was the trip? What were you doing? Was a lasting difference made?

The more I am serving as a young adult missionary in Dallas, TX the more I find myself becoming frustrated with the concept of mission trips and service. For the past 22 years before entering into ministry and being sent to Dallas, I would consume as much of my time as I could doing mission trips and service projects… In essence, I was “helping” those that needed it but was the work that I did and you have done truly making a difference and lasting impact?

I see FaceBook posts about working on houses, doing yard work, feeding the hungry, etc but truly think about it, what’s the impact and is it a fruitful impact or are we causing more harm? Don’t get me wrong; as Christians and as followers of Christ we are meant to do something about the injustice and pain in this world but again, are we helping or are we doing more harm by doing 1 week trips or 1 day service projects?

“35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’” ~Matthew 25:35-40

Any church that I have been apart of has had some emphasis on going beyond the church walls and reaching those in need. Every church has offered opportunities to go on mission trips or do participate in service projects but what’s the impact and what’s the reason behind them? Honestly, the more I am serving at my placement site, seeing the work that is being done, and learning more… I feel like the church is just filling a quota to serve others but this is more for those doing the service work or mission trip than it is for those being served.

Let me explain with a recent event that took place… For the past 6 weeks I have been helping with a 6 week long summer youth leadership camp where we took all the students through a 6 week course of talking about career readiness, healthy living, and Biblical foundation. Almost weekly we had a time where the students could be prayed with and had a chance to accept Christ into their lives. At the end of the 6 weeks, we ended up having 13 first time decisions for Christ and 19 recommitments for Christ to be their Lord and Savior. Throughout the 6 weeks I questioned why was the camp 6 weeks and not shorter and while I still believe camp could be a few weeks shorter, I realize that it needed to be so long because true and authentic relationships were being formed. Relationships that allowed for the students to be vulnerable with those leading the students through the 6 weeks and resulted in the first time decisions and rededications.

 If camp were only a week like many mission trips or even one day like many service projects then I would have left questioning if those commitments and dedications were authentic but I honestly have little doubt that the responses were made it because as someone who was helping with camp for 6 weeks, I can honestly say that the students we had wouldn’t say they made a first time decision or recommitment and not mean what they said.

“Give a man a fish and he eats for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a life time.” 

At the camp, we taught the kids the fundamentals of the Christian faith and the importance of reading and memorizing scripture as well as the importance of applying it to their lives. We didn’t just give the kids something to do for 6 weeks but we taught them… I wonder, how many mission trips and service projects are we teaching those we serve and building authentic relationships with and how many of them are we just feeding and then going on with our own lives?

I can say all this because I was that person who went on any mission trip I could and was even apart of a service sorority but with the relationships being built here in Texas, the work that is being done, what I am seeing, etc… I am experiencing true ministry where I can leave knowing that a difference truly has been made. I haven’t just come in and left and not allow the work that is being done and the relationships to change how I see things and who I am.

Therefore, I ask, are we making a difference through our mission trips and service projects or are we causing more harm to those we serve in the end? Many of the mission trips and service projects are serving the needs of the church and an individual but isn’t it time that we move beyond ourselves and our needs and truly reach those that God asks us to reach and serve? It’s not easy work and it will get frustrating and you may be broken as I have been at times but in the end, you can leave knowing that you went beyond yourself and your needs. There will still be times that you ask if you are helping or causing more harm and that’s always going to be a battle but if we are in God and in line with His teaching and His calling then we can’t go wrong. It’s time that we build authentic and true relationships, listen to those we serve, and stop “giving the people a fish and feeding them one day” but rather “teaching them how to fish and feeding them a lifetime.”

So, what do you say? Are you willing to go beyond yourself and your needs and truly make a difference and help others or are you stuck in the routine of how things have been? It’s up to you!

God is our fortress: "Be still and know that I am God"

Read Psalm 46:1-11

Be still and know that I am God… How often do we find ourselves in an isolated place or anywhere where we are able to be still and know who God is, hear His voice, and give over all of our worries, our burdens, our stress, our agendas, etc? In all honesty in this world, it’s hard to do just that since we are so used to always being on the move that we forget to just be still and know who God is. If we truly knew who God was then we wouldn’t be overwhelmed and wondering what was next and how things would get done, we wouldn’t be stressed, frustrated, and overwhelmed since God is waiting to give us peace since He is peace and He is the one that has mapped out our day, our week, the month, year, our lives so why not step back and just be still and know who God is and experience His peace and listen to His voice?

It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day tasks that we forget to slow down and appreciate who God is and everything around us. If you’re like me then you long to find yourself in a solitude place in nature (near water, in the mountains, near a beach, in a rain forest, etc) I long for that because that’s where I feel closest to God. It’s there in nature that I can find myself relaxing and in a state of mind where I can be still and know who God is, the creator of everything.

That’s what I appreciate about the Hispanic culture, in Costa Rica they have a saying that is “Pura Vida” which is the answer for everything but also resembles how the culture lives in the moment and are not in a hurry. They say Pura Vida all the time which means pure life but even more so it means all is good and nothing is bad. Even when things may not be going as expected, the answer is still Pura Vida. It’s a reminder that we need to step back and reflect on what is and be still so we can truly know who God is and what He is doing.

I’ve had to reflect on this thought of stepping back and reflecting on my life as I was reminded by all the other young adult missionaries in my class that it was a year ago this past Wednesday that we embarked in the ministry journey together bit the thing is while reflecting, I realize that I have been in the position where I was warned about by my collegiate ministry. I have been human and looking forward rather than in the moment which results in overlooking who God is, why He has me here, and what He is doing.

Be still and know that I am God. We all need to find our place where we can step back and slow down so that we can be still and know who God is, what He is doing in our lives, in our ministries, and all around us. For me, it’s anywhere in nature or lately when I am running and doing a race but for you it may be something else so I ask, where does God want you to retreat to in order to be still and know that He is God?

In a world that is always changing and always fast pace, it’s hard to find ourselves able to be still and know that God is who He is but it’s a way of living that we all need to incorporate more into our walk with God since if we keep neglecting being still and being with God to know and see what He is doing then we will find ourselves drained, exhausted, tired, and ultimately not able to do what God has called us to do and be His light and hope to the broken world or more specifically to the broken parts of Dallas. So, where is your place of solitude and have you visited it lately or are you going with the fast pace flow of the world and overlooking the peace that God wants for all of us to have, a peace in knowing who He is and knowing that He has all things already worked out for us so there’s no need to worry.

I know I often overlook being still since I would rather be busy but God asks us to go against how this world operates and calls us to be still and know Him more, be in-synced with His plan for us, and be refreshed for whatever may come our way.

So, find your Costa Rica and slow down so you can hear God’s voice rather than the voice of this world and society.

Completely God's

Are we completely God’s or are we only God’s when we think it’s convenient? Are we just going through the motions or are we completely living for God?  

“As for you, son of man, your people who talk together about you by the walls and at the doors of the houses, say to one another, each to his brother, ‘Come, and hear what the word is that comes from the Lord.’ And they come to you as people come, and they sit before you as my people, and they hear what you say but they will not do it; for with lustful talk in their mouths they act; their heart is set on their gain. And behold, you are to them like one who sings lustful songs with a beautiful voice and plays well on an instrument, for they hear what you say, but they will not do it.” ~Ezekiel 33:30-32

Do you go to church? Do you read your Bible? Do you have a daily quiet time? Are you in ministry? Etc… For many Christians, most if not all of the above questions would be “yes” but lately I wonder, are we truly living out why Jesus came over 2000 years ago and are we truly living as Christians? It’s easy to do all the “Christian” things but when we get down to it, are we truly picking up our crosses and following Jesus daily or are we just going through the motions as mentioned above in Ezekiel? It’s a real struggle and there are times in our lives where we will find ourselves feeling empty on the inside and not understanding what’s going on but if we truly pay attention to the emptiness then we can probably find out that it has something to do with being spiritually empty. As someone working in ministry, I feel like we are too often prone to getting caught up in the motions and not truly giving God our everything and being completely God’s. It’s easy to get into a routine or working and going to church that we overlook the actual relationship with God and how we are living out the Gospel. As the Matthew West song says, “I don’t want to go through the motions, I don’t want to go one more day without your all consuming passion inside of me. I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking what if I had given everything instead of going through the motions.” Are we truly sold out to God or are we wondering at the end of the day how things would have been different if we had only give it our everything? Are we starting a new journey and looking back wondering “what if” or are we confident that we were completely God’s and lived everyday as if it were our last and for God rather than just going through the motion and missing what God may have had in store for us and wanted us to get out of the day, the year, our experience, etc?

"As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” ~Luke 9:57-62

Sometimes in life and in our day to day task and conversations we may find ourselves wondering what the point of things are, if we are making a difference, if things really matter, etc and we pick and choose what to give our everything to but when it comes to being a follower of God we should be living everyday to our fullest potential and giving God our everything. The above passage explains it well. We need to be willing to follow God where ever He leads us, live to our fullest potential, and give our everything for God rather than only doing it when it’s convenient like going to church but not spending time with God the rest of the week.

I know this is something that is often brought back to my attention and I have to be reminded about how I am living my life and that God called me into a life of ministry even when I may feel like it’s not worth it or it seems inconvenient. It’s easy to get caught us in going through the motions but going through the motions and following God only when it’s convenient isn’t what God wants from us but rather He wants our everything and we should be living completely for God and being His light in the broken world and to those that need to see Christ through us. We never know who may be looking up to us to get a glimpse of Christ and hope in Christ so be cautious of the moments when you find yourself just going through the motions or “inconvenienced” in following God where He has called you to go or do what He has called you to do. 

Surrender everything to God's control and be completely His!

July 23rd… One year ago

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” ~Helen Keller

          “I have put before you an open door that no one can close” ~Revelation 3:8

Every journey has a beginning and every journey comes with expected and unexpected circumstances but little did I know that the journey I was about to embark on would change who I am.

I still remember it as if it were yesterday, leaving Indiana to travel to New York for the beginning of my ministry journey. Meeting other young adults, half of which I never knew, meeting the Global Ministries staff, and being in a state that I had never been to but was bigger than the state that I was coming from. I was about to embark on a 2-year journey that I didn’t know what to expect.

I remember our community living experience where we lived together in a house together for a week, cooked and ate together, and just did life together. An experience that I miss and wish I were apart of once again since there’s something about living together among those your same age and truly doing life together. There may be moments where people get on your nerves and wonder how much longer you can take living with them but you also realize that there is always someone to talk to, hang out with, etc. It’s even better when your living with a group of people that are have been or are about to start a journey that you are on. Living with the other young adult missionaries in the US-2 class made me appreciate having someone to talk to and pray with about what was going on and being around others that truly understood and got what I was going through since we were all on the same journey together and were able to support and encourage each other rather than just say things just because it sounded good. That’s one experience that I miss but am glad that the 2014 class will be embracing with the new modo where at least 2+ people are sent to the same area and will be living in intentional living communities.  After all, Jesus did send the disciples out in pairs.

I also remember the fear, uncertainty, etc that I had 1 week before being commissioned and sent out into ministry. I almost dropped out of the program because I knew that the path that I had chosen would take me from family, friends, and a community that I wouldn’t have to go in search for. I was about to leave the ministry that I had just started to pursue FEMA Corps and be a first responder during natural disaster. However, I knew that God had called me into ministry so I decided to keep moving forward in the ministry journey and now I find myself 1 year into the journey.

There are still things that I miss but at the same time, there is an at peace feeling that God has placed inside me. I realize that I will always miss my friends and family back home but I also believe that we were never meant to stay in one place forever. I also still long for an intentional community and to get better connected with the church and young adults here in Texas.

So, I find myself 1 year into the journey and I wouldn’t change the decision I made since it has truly been one of the best but also challenging and frustrating journeys that I have been on but I still wouldn’t change it for anything. I still believe that I made the right choice 1 year ago when I said yes to entering into this ministry journey.  There’s still one year to go and I look forward to what God has planned for me during this next year and where things will continue to take me.

Thanks for all the support, prayers, conversations, etc that you have all provided since I embarked on this journey 1 year ago today since I couldn’t have done it and wouldn’t be where I am without the support and without my placement site and those that I work with!

Expect The Unexpected

Wow, it doesn’t seem like it’s possible but 1 year ago I was in New York anxiously awaiting to figure out what it was that I was getting into. I was about to meet other young adults who had the same passion and desire as I did, a passion and desire to serve God and enter into ministry. 3 weeks of training went by and we were commissioned as the class of 2013 and now it’s mid July 2014, which means, I have been serving with the Dallas Leadership Foundation in Dallas, TX for almost a year now (later blog to come as to what’s happened in the year since I have been in Texas). Yeah, coming to Texas was never on my radar until God placed the opportunity in front of me and decided to send me to Texas, so you can definitely say that it was the unexpected.

It seems to me like that’s how God is, He is always full of surprises and when you think you have life figured out, He will toss you a curve ball that you never expected. Expect the unexpected and expect great things from God.

Now that I am almost 1 year into my ministry assignment, I am finding myself wondering, “what’s next?” even though I still have a year left where I am. While I may not know all the answers and I may not currently know what’s next, I do realize that God is putting things on my mind as to what may possible be next and all I can say right now is that it truly is the “unexpected” since one possible path is one that I have been saying “no” to since I started this ministry journey but lately, God has been stirring things inside me which may change that “no” to a “yes”.  

So, expect the unexpected when God's involved in the picture and expect great things from God since His plan is always great and while we may not see the bigger picture, He will reveal to us just the right amount that we need to see and place us where we need to be.

Celebration of HOPE!

12 meetings, over 3 months of planning and preparation, 9 neighborhoods, 35 projects, and about 1000 volunteers registered and ready to make a change in all sectors of Dallas in one day. Yeah, June 28^th and Celebration of Hope had arrived!

When thinking about it, I wonder how did all of the above get pulled off and the only answer I have is that God provided and showed up. Even with this being my first year with Celebration of hope, I could definitely see that we were hitting a lot of “bumps” in the road and that things were definitely not always going as planned or expected but in the end, God provided and made me realize that God is always waiting for us to go to Him and ask for help and to say “okay God, I can’t do this on my own and I’ve done all I can do so help”. It’s at that time that we make room for God to do His work and show up, as He had wanted to all along.

I saw the need of 200+ volunteers 1 week before the workday turn into only needing maybe 50 volunteers in less than a week and I saw a grant we were waiting on come through (even if it was last minute and caused stress and tension, it still came through and we were able to get the supplies/ material/ tools needed to accomplish the workday). I also saw volunteers not quitting but persevering to make a change in the 9 neighborhoods and 35 residents even when it started raining.

You ask, how could you accomplish working in 9 neighborhoods, every sector of Dallas, doing 35 projects, and bringing out about 1000 volunteers in 1 day? The answer is God since none of it would have been possible if we were doing it all on our own and none of it would have been possible if God hadn’t been in the midst of every step, every meeting, all the planning and preparation, all the conversations, etc… Yes, there was a lot of stress and tension at times but in the end everything came together and we couldn’t have done any of it without God, the neighborhood leaders, the volunteers, the staff, our partners, and anyone else involved with any aspect of making Celebration of Hope happen.

So ultimately, a picture’s worth 1000 words so below are some pictures of the workday and what took place in 1 day to bring hope and change to the neighborhoods, the residents we served, and Dallas!

Prayer to start the work day in Hamilton Park (Prayer circles done in each neighborhood)

Registration Team in Jubilee Park

Resident helping to make a different in Jubilee and on her house

Resident in Hamilton Park excited about the work being done on her house

Resident and team captain in Mill City thrilled about the work that was done on her house

Residents and home owners moved by the work volunteers did on their house and for the Jubilee neighborhood

Packing up tools to take to one of the houses in Hamilton Park

Registration team and volunteers signing in at Hamilton Park

Volunteers leading change in the neighborhoods and all sectors of Dallas

Even getting stung by a wasp didn't stop this volunteer from making a difference and leading change

Are we Jonah?

Sometimes in life it is easy for us to not do what someone asks us to do since we would rather do things in our own way and in our own time and the same is true when it comes to what God asks us to do. Sometimes when God asks us to do something we find it difficult, frustrating, painful, etc and we would much rather continue doing what we are doing and try to do things in our own strength, our own time, our own way, our own routines, etc and run from what God has asked and called us to do. In the first chapter of Jonah, Jonah quickly learns that disobedience to God will cost us and that it’s easier to just obey and trust God than it is to run away from Him and do things on our own.

“What do we do when we begin to believe that the place where God wants us to be the most, is the place where we want to be the least? What do we do when we begin to feel like God has or is calling us to go somewhere where we really don’t want to go or to do something that we don’t want to do?”

Many times I feel like we may not feel like we can relate to Jonah since we don’t feel like we are being called to go somewhere (meaning to another town, state, etc like Jonah was called to do and was running from) but looking at the story, I think everyone can relate to this story. Where is God calling you and is it a place that you really don’t want to be and are you running from it or trying to avoid it?

God may be calling us to rest (“be still and know that I am God”) yet we are wired to be busy and always have something on our mind yet God may just be calling us to rest in his presence and get physical rest… God may be calling us to travel somewhere emotionally by engaging in conversation with someone that is not easy to talk to, to have a difficult conversation with someone, to ask for forgiveness, etc yet God is calling us to do so but we would much rather go the opposite direction and not do what we know God wants us to do… God may be calling us to trust in Him and truly have faith that He will provide what is needed yet we may still be trying to make things happen on our own and as we envision rather than allowing God to work… God may have called us to leave the familiar behind, to change directions, and the list goes on yet we would much rather stay in the familiar and run from His plan and what He wants for us.

“Spiritually, God is calling all of us to be completely dependent on Him -- which, if we are honest, is a difficult place for many of us to be.”

God is calling us all to go somewhere but the question is, are we going to follow Him and trust Him and go where He is calling us and be where He wants us to be or are we going to turn the other way? It may not be easy to go where God wants us to go but it’s the best place to be. It may be scary since we may not know what will happen but things will be better if we are in line with God’s plan and not our plan. We need to take the first step and trust that God will provide and lead us, we need to do our part and then trust that God will take care of the rest and provide and lead us. God’s provision may not be what we expect just as Jonah probably didn’t expect God to allow a fish to swallow him yet he was still kept safe. Even if we are turning from where God wants us to be, God will create a way to get us to be where He wants us to be. There will be storms if we keep running from where God wants us to be and we will find ourselves at a point where we are left with no other option but to surrender and turn back to where God wants us to be and do as He has called and wants us to do and then the storms will calm. It doesn’t mean that we won’t face anymore storms since there will always be storms in our lives, it just means that we will be in line with what God wants and will have peace with any situation, storm, hardship, etc we face.

“Being a deeply devoted follower of Christ means that we go where God calls us -- even when it is the last place we want to be.”

Are we willing to go and be where ever God calls us to go even if it’s the last place that we want to go and be? Are we willing to take the first step and trust God and be in line with His plan for our schedule, our events, and our lives rather than trying to be in line with our plans and desires and are we willing to have complete faith in God in the midst of the unknown? Are we running from God or are we fully embracing what God wants for us individually, as a group, and as Christians?

HOPE for security

"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you" ~Matthew 5:44

Hope, something you can’t see but a strong sense that something will happen. Sometimes it’s easy to loose hope and for us to think that things will never change and as someone that is helping with working with neighborhood leaders, it’s easy to see that they are holding onto hope for the future and what can be and should be. Part of what I do is attend various neighborhood association meetings as well as over the past few months, help with home visits in 9 neighborhood. So, how am I seeing “HOPE” play out?

When attending one of the neighborhood association meetings recently a lot that I heard before the meeting even started was how Maria and her husband Rafael house was just recently broken into and how it took them calling the police about 10 times and 7 hours before police finally showed up to investigate the break in. Those that had broken into the house took everything including Rafael’s weapons that he had in the house. The neighbor saw the suspicious activity and saw the people that broke into the house but felt unsafe calling the police due to fear of what would happen if those breaking in found out that they reported them.

After that, someone else spoke up and mentioned that her grand daughter had been stopped at gun point and had her purse and everything in it stolen from her even though it was still light outside. She has mentioned though that the person that took the purse tossed out the wallet that was in the bag and included her license, credit cards, id, etc into someone’s yard and that person was generous and kind enough to take the wallet and everything inside it back to the person that it belonged to. However, the car keys, house keys, and phone were still missing.

Both of the above instances occurred in the same neighborhood where they have had to deal with drug dealers, drug houses, crime, etc taking place yet the neighborhood leader identifies with each of the residents and feels like when someone’s house is broken into then her house was broken into, when someone was stopped at gun point, then she was stopped at gun point, etc. The leader is one that knows the streets of the neighborhood and doesn’t show fear but rather shows hope for what can and should be. Hope for a place where the residents don’t have to fear walking around the neighborhood, hope for residents being able to feel safe in their own homes, hope for a safe community for families to be brought up in. Even with knowing that someone now has weapons from the above house that I mentioned that was broken into, she is still determined to make her presence known in the neighborhood and make it where people know not to mess with her and the neighborhood since she truly has identified and owned the neighborhood and is leading the residents and the neighborhood in bringing in HOPE.

In all honesty, how many of us would still be able to walk the streets, make our presence known, etc even when we knew all that was taking place? But when we know that God is with us and that God wants His Kingdom to be here on Earth then we can have hope and keep moving forward in “hope” that one day we will be able to live in a community that is safe for everyone and is secure.

This isn’t only happening in one neighborhood but it’s happening in numerous neighborhoods that I help work in. In another neighborhood Eva ended up quitting her job because her house was broken into and she wanted to have a presence at the house all the time so that it wouldn’t be broken into again. Eva is involved with the neighborhood association and one day ended up telling us that she just hoped for a better community where residents of the neighborhood were able to enjoy life. She envisioned the neighborhood as being a place where families would feel safe, where neighbors would know each other, and where family owned businesses could start up and be made into something bigger. Even with being broken into more than once, Eva is still holding onto the hope to safety and a neighborhood that people are free to be themselves and not worry about if someone is going to break into their house, if their small business will be taken over by bigger businesses, where neighbors are helping each other out and connecting with one another, where there are resources, and where you can build up a family.

That’s hope, in each of these instances, the resident or leader doesn’t currently see or have the neighborhood that they have since a lot of what they see is the crime but they are still able to envision and hope for a better community and neighborhood. Hope, it’s something you can’t see but it’s something you have a strong desire to see happen and that greatly defines what the residents and leaders envision for the neighborhoods they live in. 

**Names mentioned above are not the real names of the people but still actual instances that have taken place and have been told**

Prayer request: pray for the neighborhoods, the leaders, and the residents that they may continue to have hope in what is currently unseen and for the safety and protection of them all

Hope, what is it?

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. ~Romans 8:24-25  

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~Romans 15:13

“Hope appears 126 times in the Bible (KJV). 68 times in the Old Testament and 58 times in the New Testament and hoped is mentioned 11 times. 7 in the Old Testament and 4 in the New Testament”

For the past couple of months I have been constantly reminded of the word “hope” and that’s expected since we have a city-wide work day coming up called “Celebration of Hope” and much of what we do is about “Hope” but when thinking about it, what does hope truly mean or is it just a buzz word that is thrown around so much that it doesn’t have a meaning or it has lost it’s meaning?

I feel like in today’s world, the word hope is just another word that sounds good and is tossed around so much that it has lost it’s meaning but when looking at it biblically, “hope is an indication of certainty. “Hope” in Scripture means a strong and confident expectation.” Hope isn’t necessarily something that can be seen but it’s something that will eventually happen. Hope is the vessel to peace and joy, if there is no hope then it’s hard to find ourselves in a place where we have peace and joy.

When talking with various residents in the neighborhoods that we serve as we get ready for “Celebration of hope” and when listening to the stories and what they are or have gone through then it is evident why hope is needed.

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” ~Romans 12:12 

 “But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish” ~Psalm 9:18 

During one of the home visits the homeowner was brought to tears and was grateful for the help that she was going to receive. Both she and her mother had spent many visits in the hospital and sick yet she was still hopeful for what was to come. She had mentioned how she was fixing up the inside of the house so it would be ready for when her mother arrived back home from another stay in the hospital. Just listening to her and her story and what she was facing was enough to bring the neighborhood leader to tears and a reminder of why it is that we do what we do. She had hope in what was to come and that gave her peace and joy. She not only had hope but I would as far as saying that she gave us hope in what we are doing. After numerous home visits, trying to solidify and get the houses to work on, etc it can be draining and at times wondering why are we doing it but it takes one act of gratitude and one story of hope to remind us why we are doing what we do and make all the work that goes into it worth it and keeps us moving forward and doing the work we do.

 “Why are you downcast, o my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God,    for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” ~Psalm 43:5 

 “There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off” ~Proverbs 23:18

Hope isn’t always something that can be seen but it’s something that is felt and is needed. Without hope then people would give up. Hope is what gives us life and what keeps us moving forward even in the hard times… Hope is needed everyday and we need to help bring the hope of Christ to others. Without hope, there is nothing. Therefore, hope is ultimately the thing that gives us life and is the reason for tomorrow. But the ultimate hope should be in Christ Jesus.

Why Texas?!?

Last week I decided to attend the young adult ministry at Highland Park UMC for the 3^rd time. We started out with a study of the last half of Romans 15 and then went out to dinner to fellowship and hang out. Since I am still new to the group, it seems like I am asked by at least one person each time, “what do you do?” and that’s a hard enough question to answer at times but the question that proceeded that caught me off guard and I didn’t seem to have a legitimate answer to “why would the United Methodist Church send a missionary to Texas?”

After leaving the group and on my drive back to the house, that question kept running through my mind and continued to be on my mind the next day. It’s the first time that someone has actually asked me, “why Texas?” but it has been a question that I have often asked myself. I realized that I wasn’t able to answer the question that night because it is often a question I ask myself and a question that can’t fully be answered at the moment but I do have an answer.

So, why Texas? The why is because there’s a need in Texas. There’s a need for the Hope of Christ to be seen and spread in Texas. Most often I feel like we are blind to what’s going on around us. We live in a specific area and we get comfortable that we begin to adapt and think that everything is okay and normal yet when you move from one place to another and you find yourself somewhere that you’ve never been before then you start to see the brokenness and the things missing. Too often as Christians, I feel like we do the same thing, we get so caught up in the church life and even being missionaries/ in ministry/ pastors/ etc that we get to a place of being comfortable and we forget to look around and see what’s truly going on and see the continued need to reach out to people and bring hope to the various sectors of the neighborhood/ state/ etc.

I used to be someone that thought that you had to leave the country to be a missionary but since being in TX I can tell you that there is a need everywhere and that’s why I am in TX because there is a lot of brokenness/ hurt/ etc in Texas that God wants to redeem. As an earlier blog post stated, things may look fine on the outside but once you take a look on the inside then you will realize what’s going on. This past month or 2, I have helped with doing about 40+ home visits in the 9 neighborhoods that my placement site works. These houses are ones that we will be working on at the end of June but we don’t want to see it as merely working on houses but as a way to be able to reach residents and bring them hope when they may not have been loosing hope. You can look at a house and see that it needs painted and you can change the way the outside of the house looks but what truly matters is what’s on the inside. The inside will tell you the truth and will show you the need. It truly is beyond the paint and beyond the walls but it’s about getting to know one another, showing the love of Christ, and bringing hope to the hopeless. It’s about relationships and about changing the inside and taking the time to truly listen to people and hear their stories. When you take the time to listen to someone, allow them to talk, and truly listen then you will no longer have to ask, “why Texas?” because your question would have been answered by the person you were talking to and listening to.

So again, why Texas? It’s because God brought me here and because there is hurt/ brokenness/ a loss of hope/ etc in many people’s lives in Texas and it’s about time that we take time to go beyond the paint and truly see and hear what’s going on. It’s time that we stop acting like we have it all together and that our neighborhood/ state/ country is fine when in reality, it’s falling apart and in great need of hope and for God’s love to shine through us and reach those that are hurting. Truly take a look around and you will realize why Texas or why ______ (fill in the blank with where ever you are since no matter where we are, there is a need for people to be “missionaries” and bring hope/ love/ God’s light/ etc)… That’s why Texas and I wouldn’t want to change where God has me at right now.

If you are still asking why Texas or why _____ then ask God to give you His eyes to see and then you wouldn't be asking that question any longer but then the question would be, what can be done and why is this happening?